Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Self Reflection...

It really stinks to not living the life you know you should be living.  That is where I am these days.  I know that my life should be so different from what it is.  I don't know what I can do to motivate myself to become the person that I want to be.  I am lazy.  I never thought of myself as lazy until recently.  I have been doing some deep and critical looking  back at my life and myself and I am not proud of what I see.  I don't like myself much.  I have lots going for me, but because of this one aspect of my life that I can't gain control of I feel like such a loser.
  I don't know what I don't work out.  I am fortunate enough to be able to stay home.  I have all the equipment  I could ever need.  All the time in the day.  I am just lazy.  I know that working out makes me feel better.  I know what if I would just do it then i would have more energy.  I know all this..but it still doesn't get me off my butt and on the treadmill everyday.  I always talk myself out of working out.  I need to figure out how to talk myself  INTO working out.  I know all the reasons I should be working out.  I know how I should be eating.  I just don't do it.  I don't know what it is going to take to to get me to where I should be.  I am scared about what that might be.


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