It really stinks to not living the life you know you should be living. That is where I am these days. I know that my life should be so different from what it is. I don't know what I can do to motivate myself to become the person that I want to be. I am lazy. I never thought of myself as lazy until recently. I have been doing some deep and critical looking back at my life and myself and I am not proud of what I see. I don't like myself much. I have lots going for me, but because of this one aspect of my life that I can't gain control of I feel like such a loser.
I don't know what I don't work out. I am fortunate enough to be able to stay home. I have all the equipment I could ever need. All the time in the day. I am just lazy. I know that working out makes me feel better. I know what if I would just do it then i would have more energy. I know all this..but it still doesn't get me off my butt and on the treadmill everyday. I always talk myself out of working out. I need to figure out how to talk myself INTO working out. I know all the reasons I should be working out. I know how I should be eating. I just don't do it. I don't know what it is going to take to to get me to where I should be. I am scared about what that might be.