Not as bad as I thought...

Well I finally broke down and hit the scale yesterday.  I was so sure it was going to be horrible.  I mean I haven't worked out in weeks.  Haven't been watching what I eat too closely.  Been sick..so on and so forth.  But it wasn't too bad.  I had gained some weight, but it was only 2 pounds so that wasn't horrible. It even made me feel like working out.  So I did.  I was proud of myself.  Things are still the same.  But that is ok I guess.  One day at a time right?  We will just take baby steps. 

I still feel fat and ugly.  I know that I am...but I hate feeling that way.  When I was able to work out consistently I felt better, but it was one of those things that I didn't really realize until I wasn't doing it anymore.   I think that knowing that is one of my baby steps I mentioned.  The next baby step I would love to take is to get rid of this cough that way I would feel like working out.  It is hard to get motivated when you feel like you are going to cough up a lung. I know getting over being sick takes time, but I am ready to be well so that I can get healthy!

Til then

EMP

Trying,,,,,Failing....

Still Trying to get over this Crud that I have.  It has been hanging in there for a while now.  Not fun at all.  I get tired just walking to the mailbox.  While it is hanging in I have no energy to do anything.  I and starting to get into a funk, and that makes me eat more than I should.  It is a hideous cycle that I can't seem to break.  Every time I feel like I am making some headway something else comes up to mess we up.  There is so much that I wish I could do that I just can't because the weight is holding me back, but I just really can't seems to shake it.  It has been with me most of my life and I feel like it will always be with me.  I don't want to be like this.  I know it isn't good for me.  I know I need to lose weight.  I know.  I just can't seem to do.  And it is so frustrating.  I know all the right things to do.  I know what I shouldn't be eating.  I know I should be getting more exercise.  But is just isn't happening.  There is a huge difference between knowing that to do and actually doping it.  I have the knowing part down pat.  And I can do the doing part for a little while.  I just really want the whole trying to lose weight thing to be done.  It is all that I have been trying to do for years, and I feel like such a failure!  When all you do is fail, It gets even harder to try!

I Just want this one thing.  Everything else in my life is pretty good.  I Just want to lose weight.  I just need to stop trying...and do...

Til Then,
EMP

Life Happens....

It's funny how life gets in the way of best intentions.  That is what has been happening to me lately.  Just when everything was going so well with the eating and working out thing Life happened. 

First it was a change is work schedule that brought our nights to days and days to nights.  When are you sleep deprived you don't feel like working out..let me tell you.

Then it was visits from family...and visiting family.  Traveling...not the best for a schedule.

Now it is being sick.. I mowed our yard a few days ago and it was so much fun.  Being outside walking around pushing a mower for an hour and a half.  I felt great.  Then then pollen and all the dust floating in the air got to me, and I have been down for the count ever since.

So lately life has gotten in the way of my working out.  Right now I am hoping that life gets back on track so I can get back on the treadmill. 

Until then..

EMP